Dating the Post-Op Transsexual: Being a Post-Op TS Doesn't Mean Being Dateless.

By- Nikki

A post-op transsexual researches dating and the post-op TS:

Surprise! It's NOT all about the penis.

Since I began transitioning five years ago, I was told that the men would go away following SRS because my penis would have gone away. Some post-ops told me this, some men told me this, and a whole slew of pre-ops told me this. Men are not interested in dating post-op transsexuals. It's all about the penis, I was led to believe.

Well, I underwent sexual reassignment surgery on February 5, 2003.

Since I've become a post-op TS, not only have men not been put off by that, they're more eager than ever to date me as a post-op TS than as a pre-op. And more of them want to date me.

My online profile stated I was a pre-op TS. After my operation, I changed my profile to clearly indicate that I am a post-operative transsexual. Now when I go online, I get more messages of interest from men than I ever got as a pre-op.

What's the attraction? I wondered. Why is everything I was told by so many not my experience? I began to do my own little survey.

What follows is based on a limited sampling of fewer than a hundred guys. After the initial introduction online, the first question I asked was, "Are you aware that I am a post-op?"

Almost universally, the response was, "Yes, I am aware you're post-op, and I find that attractive." At that point, because of what I had been told over the past five years, I wanted to know why they are interested in post-ops. I told them that I had been led to believe that few men would be interested in dating a post-op TS. How did they answer? They said that a post-op still has the best of both worlds.

To me, that used to mean both tits and a penis. But now I have come to realize it doesn't necessarily mean that, but it can also mean combining the very feminine attributes of the transsexual with some of the attractive attributes of the male. Those male attributes include somewhat more logical thinking and more common sense. In a nutshell, it's understanding a man better than genetic women do, a greater likelihood of understanding where a man is coming from than a GG would.

Some men, and the majority of pre-ops with whom I have spoken, have told me that once my penis is gone, I would be competing with genetic women. But I am not competing with them. I have attributes genetic women don't have that many men find very appealing.

Because I lived as a man and competed in the work-a-day world as an alpha male, I can better understand how important a man's job or career is to him, can better appreciate the need he has to be able to provide for himself and/or his family than can the average woman.

Once, my man called to cancel a date because of a crisis at work. I wasn't angry, I just told him to go fix the problem, because I have been there, I have done that. I have competed the way he has to, as a person of his gender, so I understand how important that is.

Sexual curiosity is also a factor. The men who have contacted me online have all had sex with genetic females. Some of these men have told me that they find it to be extraordinary that I used to have a penis and now have a functional vagina. They found the possibility of having sex with a "new" female to be very attractive.

But a girl needs to be sure any man interested in her knows what she is. I would never date a man who didn't know I was a transsexual, whether pre-op or post-op. First of all, not to tell him is very unfair. Number two, it could be very dangerous.

Before I had the operation, I was functioning in the real world as a woman. I didn't need the operation to "be" a female. As far as the world knows, when I walk down the street as a pre-op TS, they saw a woman. They didn't know any differently.

I mainly had SRS so that my body finally matches my psychological and emotional being. That's very important to me. It gives me a greater sense of peace, it completes my sense of oneness with myself. It brings me great joy and happiness.

The secondary reason for having SRS was to be able to have sex as a woman. I love anal sex but genetic women can have vaginal sex, and I want to be able to have female to male intercourse. To find out that men are still interested in me is a great relief.

Since my SRS, I have found a new sense of confidence, and now I look at the world from a much more calm point of view. SRS boosted confidence in who I am, it helps me interact more confidently with men. I find my confidence boosted two ways. First, because I am more sure of who I am as a woman, I can therefore interact more confidently with men. Secondly, because men are interested in me as a woman, they give a delightful little boost to my femininity.

But having a pussy wouldn't make me more confident on a date since I was perfectly confident in my sexuality anyway. Besides, any man dating me would know in advance whether he's getting a pussy or a penis.

In my case, I find that men are attracted to me as a woman with certain additional attributes. Based on what I have discovered to date, while acknowledging this is not a large, scientific sampling of responses, it appears to me there is no shortage of men interested in post-ops. And their interest appears to go well beyond just the fact that a post-op transsexual now has a pussy.

Relax, girls. Despite rumors to the contrary, the evidence indicates your love life can continue after SRS.

Email the editor: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Copyright 2003 by Nikki, all publication rights reserved by TSgirlfriend.com.

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The topic of this page is Dating the Post-Op Transsexual - a Post-Op TS Need Not be Dateless.