Helpful Hints to Meeting a Trans Girl.
Yes I wrote the following. Yes I wrote it tonight (March 15, 2010)...and yes, it's purely to help out all you guys...and perhaps my trans sisters, as well. I hear a lot of men out here who say they want to meet a nice, real trans girl, but they're tired of all the hookers and cross dressing men who pose as such out here. Well, we legitimate trans girls are out here (or there), but I also notice that most of you haven't any idea how to find, approach or keep the interest of one. The following are some helpful hints to keep in mind.
Trans girls are not men...in any way!
There are a lot of ways to put this, and in fact ways to be more specifically accurate, but this seems important for many of you to keep in mind; we are simply women. Just like your ex-girlfriend, your sister, your mother or even that bitch you work with that never shuts up.
What I mean is, while we come in all shapes, sizes and types, we're just women...and treating us any different than you would any other women, showing us any less respect than you would any other woman, expecting us to react any different than any other woman (especially to inappropriate comments, questions or behavior) is apt to garner nothing but our ire and disdain.
Those of us who are legitimate trans girls are especially sensitive to all this as so many men don't know this and approach us so inappropriately. In fact, if you find that a supposed trans girl is talking highly sexual in the early going, then there's a good chance that you're just talking to a guy...be he a cross dresser or not, and while on that subject…
We are not cross dressers, transvestites or drag queens...in any way!
Regardless of Craigslist's and some dating sites' short-sightedness of putting TS females and cross dressing men under a similar category (the "T"), understand that in reality there is absolute zero connection between the two. None. Nada.
Although indeed many transvestites and the like try to ally themselves with or as us, whether that be of their own ignorance or simple dishonesty, it doesn't make them similar to us in one single way. Theirs is a sexual fetish, which is fine for them, but they are men. We are women. They are men with a fetish for imagining themselves as women. For us, it is not any such thing. It's simply who we are. Our identity.
On that note, don't refer to our being trans as a lifestyle or the like. It's not a "lifestyle" anymore than being any other sort of woman (or man, for that matter). We haven't any choice to be what we are, it's just who we are. In fact, nobody who understands it would ever choose to be trans (especially given the tremendous obstacles we encounter)...but that's a subject for another day.
In this vein, if you
approach or treat us as if our very identity is a sexual thing (to you
or us) or any such thing, we are likely to find it insulting...and you,
While it seems to be common for people to think that asking a trans girl whether she is pre- post-or non-op like it's normal is acceptable, it really isn't. Once you get to know her she will likely let you know; nobody wants to be dating someone who isn't going to be interested once more personal things are revealed.
If you are worried about wasting your efforts, find a very tactful way to say you are only interested in post-, pre- and/or non-ops and let it go at that. If she is something other than the type(s) you stated, she will likely politely decline further interest, saving both your efforts.
Do not expect your dating relationship with a trans girl to be any different than with any other woman!
In other words, unless she is an anomaly and a complete slut, she is unlikely to put out on the first few dates. Don't expect otherwise, and don't be surprised that the dinner and drinks you bought her isn't the price into her pants. Be a gentleman and she will be a lady.
Ultimately, it all comes down to respect, guys. Respect her as you would any other woman, and if your response to that is that you treat all women like they're whores, then expect only the whores to be interested. Personally, I think a few more of you should just go that direction anyhow. There are many reliable escort agencies which handle some beautiful transsexual women who are happy to be whatever you desire. If those of you that just seek hookups did so, it would certainly make it easier on the rest of us.
Oh, and one more thing: DO NOT BELIEVE THE OUTRAGEOUS LIES OF PORN. Among other things, it's a fact that only hookers will "top" you. Legitimate transsexual women haven't any interest in such a thing. Indeed this goes beyond my little rules about keeping sex talk out of things (so don't bring it up to the girl you are interested in), but it is amazing how many men just want to be penetrated.
My advice to them? Be a man, own up to what you really want and find someone who will have interest in doing that to you: Another man. Otherwise, treat the lady as a lady.
Copyright 2010, by the author, all publication rights reserved.
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