TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

February, 2008

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

RELATIONSHIP #32 IS ANNOUNCED
Subject: Number 32!
Date: 2/22/2008 6:42:24 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi Michael,

First I want to start by thanking you for the site. I had tried other sites in my search to find my soulmate, all of which were a huge disappointment. Seems so many others lacked any true class. Many I met at other sites seemed to be only interested in "camming" or cyber sex, which really was not anything I was at all interested in. What I really liked about your site were the rules, as it showed me that the site was trying to promote a classy environment for like -minded people to meet.

That's the reason I am writing this email to you, as I am sure you like to have positive feedback, such as when the site has helped folks to meet and start a long-term relationship. I am speaking for myself (cliff_n_la) and Tori_eastern_wv. After chatting in a PM together, we decided to exchange phone numbers and talk on the phone some. They soon turned into marathon phone calls as we both shared our lives and hearts with one another. We both found out that we are extremely compatible and share many of the same interests.

The more we talked, the more we seemed to have more in common, from the same sense of humor to what each other was hoping to find in a mate. We were so much on the same page with everything we discussed. Once we were very comfortable with each other, we knew that we would have to meet to see if what we were starting to feel towards one another would feel the same in real life. I had the pleasure of enjoying this wonderful lady's company for a week recently. She is everything I had truly hoped to find in someone.

We both are very much in love and have decided a long-term relationship that we expect to end in a lasting marriage. I will let her finish this email and tell you thanks for helping us to find one another. Thanks again for the chatroom and making it a place of class for folks to come together. There is no doubt in my mind Tori is the soul mate I have spent my life looking for.

--Cliff.

The email continues:

Michael,

I, too, tried other sites and the quality of people there was suspect at best. The men I met either just wanted to play games or were looking for a cheap thrill.

Cliff said it very well and I am not sure there is much more I can add to what he said. We are both in love. He is more than I had ever hoped to find. We spend most of our time on the phone or on voice IM to each other, sharing our lives as best we can across the miles for now. I have found my true love, soul mate and future husband. I also want to extend my thanks for the site's chatroom. It is a safe and sane place to find potential mates.

I am sure we will pop in from time to time to say hi to friends, but mostly we are spending time together and making plans for the future.

I suppose you can put us down as #32. Thank you again for the site, Michael and for the rules that make it a nice place to meet.

Huggs,

--Tori.

HOW SHE REVEALS SHE'S A TGIRL
Subject: When to tell article
Date: 2/16/2008 3:22:24 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

This question is a daily consideration, for I'm approached quite often. Whether it's grocery shopping at Ralph's, driving along Ventura Boulevard on a warm and sunny day, having my car valet parked in Beverly Hills, or out dancing on the Sunset Strip, this subject can't be avoided. I've arrived, therefore, at a two-tier criterion for when to reveal.

If the encounter is strictly business or casual, I don't reveal. There is no compelling reason.

If the chance meeting has the possibility of further "discussion," and phone numbers are exchanged, I first check my feelings whether the man (or, woman) is someone I have interest in. If (s)he has that potential, then I speak to (her)him over the phone, or through a letter, and gently break the news to (her)him. I don't discuss GID, genetics, "being trapped in a man's body," nor become too intellectual. I tell (her)him that there is something about me that (s)he needs to know and (s)he may or may not welcome the news. I simply say that I'm a woman with a transsexual beginning and want to share this, lest (s)he feel that I'm trying to deceive (her)him. It's OK not to be comfortabe with this information, and the fact that he was attracted to me DOESN'T mean that he's gay -- he simply likes beautiful women. This last caveat is only for men. I aim to reassure, comfort, and inform.

I have told scores of men and women this and the results were good. No one became angry, incensed, or remotely upset. Most were OK and wanted to continue our banter. The few who said that it was important that I be a genetic female, nonetheless, were kind and we parted on good terms.

In reflecting on what makes the difference, I feel that being naturally feminine is a plus. Being absolutely comfortable as a unique woman translates into a palpable confidence that is non-threatening to them. Most can't imagine I lived as boy in my earlier years. One gentleman I'm involved with doesn't like transsexuals...but he likes me. I place myself in their shoes and ask: How would I want to be approached if the shoe were on the other foot? This translates into an empathy that hones how I present the information and a true caring for their feelings.

My account retells many points made in your article, but I feel it has anecdotal relevance.

The goal isn't to be liked by everyone; this is impossible. If I still donned the raiment of the male sex, someone, somewhere, at some chance meeting, wouldn't like me. My little "behind" was "kicked" quite often when I appeared as a boy. This is life. Confidence coupled with discretion is the key factor in wading these uncertain waters.

Thank you.

Angelae L.
Encino, California

SUGGESTIONS
Subject: Suggestions
Date: 2/17/2008 11:37:13 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello. I was reading some of your articles and I had just a few suggestions. Whether you take them to heart, or ignore them is, of course, your call, however. I only have two, and they're all rather small.

First: This is about the article "When, Why & How to Tell Him That You're a Transsexual." Under the section, "How to tell him you're a transsexual," about mid way down, you have, "If you're a pre-op transsexual, explain that you plan to have the surgery so your body matches how you feel inside." I feel that, however, you should add that they only explain that if they are planning on having the sex reassignment surgery. If, for whatever reason, they do not plan to, then they should explain that to their significant other why they don't want to have the surgery.

Second: This is about the rule page for the chatroom, you have several things to do listed should someone be threatening suicide. However, you have only a US number for the Suicide Hotline. Should you have a Canadian one, as well (at least) and perhaps a UK one, too. Not everyone lives in the States. I sure don't, I live in Canada. If I meet someone in the chatroom who lives in Canada, or the UK, or where have you, I don't think calling the hotline in another country is really going to help all that much.

Anywho, those were my only two suggestions, as I said, whether you choose to apply them on your site, or ignore them is totally up to you.

We did add provincial suicide hotline numbers for Canada. None have yet been provided for the UK. Thanks for that!

WHAT MOST OF THE GUY WHO MEET A TGIRL WANT
Subject: Transgender Dating: Less Than a Woman?
Date: 2/14/2008 5:27:11 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi, I just read the above article and was surprised, sort-of, in the similarities in some of my social experiences that have chilled me to actively pursuing a relationship. It seems that most of the guys I have met (over the Internet) want a one-night stand with their monitor and keyboard and seem to think that you are, or should be, predisposed to their whims. After all, we are just objects to be used for their sexual gratification and discarded just as quickly. Finding a man to treat and respect transwomen as the women that they are is nearly impossible, but I still have hope.

Thank you for bringing this subject to light.

Anela N.

WILLIAM'S MALE-BASHING ARTICLE
Subject: Male bashing article
Date: 2/5/2008 5:25:18 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I am doing a speech to advocate a position, and have chosen male-bashing as my topic. I would like to use your particular article to cite some of your quotes and thoughts, however, I could not find your name on the article. Would it be possible that I could get your name to be able to cite you correctly? Thanks, and by the way, your article is great!

--Jacob K.

A NEW GENDER, A NEW APPEARANCE
Subject: How to Date a Pre-op
Date: 2/3/2008 12:53:12 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I've just found and signed on to your chatroom as I'm pre-op, unfortunately very mature, but still hopeful of finding a guy to accept me.

Just have to say WOW! Thank goodness you get the whole transsexual thing so right! Dress, attraction, flirtation, sex...right on! I've given up on the transgender sites that are such a mixup of many totally differing genders that practically any post was guaranteed to upset someone or other.

You article, "How to Date a Pre-op Transsexual" really says it all and defines TS's in way that the medical profession should take heed of. I love the fact that you acknowledge a TS will love to be feminine and WEAR SKIRTS, BLOUSES and DRESSES. I've been hooted off other chatrooms for saying that being TS and dressing feminine go hand in hand. Yes, I threw out all my trousers/jeans and hope to never wear any again...unless if ever really classy long pants come back into fashion. I feel that it is essential to give that first impression of being female and for me that is heels, skirt'n'top or dress and enough makeup to make myself look female.

--FadedEnglishRose.

THOSE RUDE BAR TGIRLS
Subject: Me Again
Date: 2/2/2008 1:16:01 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I did enjoy reading some of your articles, and maybe I've even learned something. I am a big admirer, I guess that's the word that is used, and I can tell you what I am attracted to in a Tgirl. My motives are good, too. I would like to have a nice evening out. I'm on a limited budget, but I still think I could come up with a plan for a good evening without spending a small fortune. I'm not cheap and I like to try and impress a date. That's a good thing.

Now, my bad story. I feel that I am a sincere and happy person. So I went to a well-known TS/Tgirl/TV spot. I do not drink, and I cannot spend a lot of money on drinks just to get to know someone. The price of drinks is high enough. Like I said, I am not cheap and if someone just wants my wallet, forget it. I love to talk and even can make you laugh now and then.

My bitch is that the women I did meet were mean, loud, rude, and not ladylike at all. They sure made it clear that if I don't have the money, honey, then hit the bricks. This was such a bad experience for me, I gave up and now just keep to myself. I probably blew it by going to such a bar, but what was I to do to start meeting a good woman?

I'm for-real on this. I don't want to tell everone my desire or wants in this area, but I do feel like I'm not a phony and would love to explore that world.

Thank you so much for letting me tell my story on this and also my desires, too. If you have any answers or suggestions for me please let me know.

With respect,

--John C.

You are unlikely to find a "good woman" by hanging out in bars crowded with transvestites and "transsexual escorts." Have you signed up at TS Match Transsexual Dating?

GIMME AN ARTICLE BUT HOLD THE LINKS
Subject: articles
Date: 1/29/2008 5:36:50 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

The articles page with all the different ones is simply amazing. I want to send it to all my girlfriends and have them give it to any man who shows interest. Unfortunately, every page has links to the dating site and the chat room. Most guys probably wont even read it, but will join the dating site as a sex site, despite what they put on their profiles. Plus try to get into chat room, and you know where that will lead. Even though monitored. But the ones who do read it might learn something about us. And if we can make that happen to even a few more, it would be worth it. So may I suggest making a PDF version for Adobe without the website and chat room links? It would be a great educational tool.

Thank you for your time.

--Inara.

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