TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

January, 2005

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

FOR TGIRL DATING INFO, COME TO TSG
Subject: Thank You so very much
Date: 1/27/2005 9:23:09 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello,

I have become aquainted with a very lovely TS lady through the Internet. I am in Washington State, and she is in Michigan, where I am moving back to in about two weeks. We have talked by email for a while, and now we talk daily both by email, and by phone. Am I falling in love with her? Yes I am. We are going to start dating soon after I am settled in Michigan, and for the first time in my life I am really looking forward to meeting someone.

In her profile, she mentioned your website, and I have been carefully reading everything in it. I have even bookmarked it, as it is a wonderful site for a man to read that is interested in a long-term relationship with a TS. Your pages have been informative, and enlightening for a man like me. You have helped me a lot, in telling me what is going on in my heart at this time. I was so afraid of doing and saying the wrong things to her. I have always been an old-fashioned man with old-fashioned ideals. I now find I do not have to do anything special to gain her love and respect. I only have to be myself, which has never gotten me anywhere with genetic women. I have had two very bad marriages, and find that I may for the first time have a chance at the life time love I have always wanted. Granted she has helped a lot with that, but your pages have done so much to allay my fears. I am not afraid of what my friends and family think, but more worried of her feelings. We have both already said we want to explore the possiblities of a long-term relationship together. If any other men in my place wonder how to go about dating a wonderful TS woman, I am going to advise that they immediately go to your site. Thank you again

--Bruce.

BI GUY WANTS TO ATTRACT A TGIRL
Subject: Need Advice for a Sincere Bi Guy
Date: 1/23/2005 5:52:03 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Dear Michael,

I just finished reading your article entitled, "The Great Boyfriend: TS Girls, Admirers, & Regular Guys, a TS Chatroom Survey," and I find myself very frustrated after reading it because I am a sincere guy who has felt for some time that he is being portrayed as an admirer, even though I can honestly say that I do not share the characteristics of an admirer.

I am pretty sure that one big reason for being portrayed as an admirer is my sexual orientation. I am bisexual and I am not ashamed of that fact. After all, why should I be? One statement from the article that really sticks out in my mind is that, "The potential boyfriend is confident in his sexuality." It is who/what I am. So I decided a long time ago that I would be confident and upfront about it. And with my confidence comes pride in who and what I am. It has not compromised my masculinity or my integrity in any way; I feel that my ability to be honest with myself and those around me has actually strengthened my integrity and shown that I am man enough to take the negative criticism that society sometimes has toward the bisexual community.

In my experience with meeting a potential friend or partner face to face, I have found that I am less likely be rejected by them if I am upfront about being bi then if I just let them know later on down the road. I usually do not tell someone, "Hi, my name is Cameron, I'm bi." That is a foolish way to come out. I try to focus on something that I find interesting about the other person. But in my online profile I had it posted that I was bi in order to weed out any GGs or gay males that are bigoted toward the bi community. But I do not think that this is working for me when I try to strike up a conversation with a Tgirl.

Since there are a lot of sexual predators and horny jerks on the Net, I understand that a girl needs to heed caution. And I would understand it if a Tgirl automatically assumed that I am an admirer, and not a sincere guy, based simply on the fact that I am attracted to more than one sex. But the assumption is incorrect and unfair.

I have already deleted the identification of my sexual orientation from my online profile in order that I might not offend any Tgirls. But I do not feel good about it because I know that a Tgirl usually wants to be treated as a lady. And I want to treat her as a lady because she is a lady. And I would not hide that fact from a lady. It is not right. It is not honest.

Are there any suggestions that you might have as to how I can continue to be honest about myself, but not continue to scare off women?

Many thanks,

--Cameron.

ALISSA'S SURGERY IN THAILAND
Subject: I apologize to all for the late update .... :-(
Date: 1/20/2005 11:49:46 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello, everyone!

Again, I'm so sorry for not informing everyone of my surgery and progress so far -- it's been so very busy every day and there never seems to be enough hours in the day to do the average, everyday things that we normally take for granted. I have been sidetracked so often in getting to the clinic's computer to draft an email to everyone, but I have managed to send out quick messages to a few of you.

So, I'll start from the beginning for everyone's sake, as not everyone has been advised of what has happened since the day I left for Thailand:

The flight over the Pacific was uneventful but lonnnnggggg (at least it wasn't as long as it was the last trip) at about 18-20 hours of total travel time (including the one 1.5hr lay-over at Hong Kong Airport). I arrived in Bangkok at about midnight of Jan. 5th, as scheduled and I was met at the airport by one of the clinic staff taxi drivers, who took me straight to the Mercure Hotel in Chonburi about one hour's drive away.

The following day (still the 5th -- I slept for a few hours that evening), I popped into the clinic and saw Dr. Suporn, my surgeon, and I had my consultation. Later that day, I was checked into Aikchol Hospital and saw a familiar face: Minda, one of the head administrative nurses of the hospital that associates with the clinic very closely. I went through admissions and was assigned room 804 on Dr. Suporn's "private" wing. The next time I would see Dr. Suporn would be in the operating room the following day. I had another pre-operation consultation with the same anestheologist as I had the first
time around, and what a wonderful chat we had! Everyone at the hospital and clinic is just so super and upbeat -- I think they could teach a thing or two to North American medical care! Hmmph! LOL.

Jan. 6th: My second birthday. I was wheeled into the operating room (hmmm, seems familiar! ;-) ) and prepped for surgery. Some consider the number of procedures I had scheduled to be bit much, but I need to finish my journey sooner than later before I can begin the rest of my life, right? I had genital reconstruction, breast augmentation, and a couple of minor revisions of my nose and upper lip scheduled. They consider that four procedures, but I was to later find out that the facial revisions didn't factor into my recovery at all -- they just didn't hurt or cause me any discomfort at all! (Lucky me, I needed all the strength I could muster in the coming days).

I don't remember when I woke up that day, but I'm sure I slept a long time, unlike the last round with my facial surgeries March, 2004. My breasts were bound so tightly and I was catheratized with my genital packing. As before, surgery really knocks the hunger out of you -- I didn't eat anything substantial for probably four or five days. I only drank as much water as I could and ate some fruit. However, I don't believe I lost a lot of weight during my seven days in the hospital. My thoughts were more focused on the growing pain I was beginning to experience.

They say that the most painful procedure is the breast augmentation -- especially if the implants are placed under the pectoral muscles, as they were with me -- but in my case it was the genital procedure. The breast binding was removed on the third or fourth day -- I can't remember now. That was a little bit of a relief! I was actually able to walk out of bed on the fifth and sixth days to have a sit-down shower -- that was refreshing! It was good to know that I could still function even in a limited capacity so soon after surgery, but my balance seemed to be very awkward (well, I WAS laying on my back for five days!) I don't remember how often I had to call for the nurse for pain killers and morphine -- it was a lot, unfortunately! Later, I learned that I was requesting morphine so much that they were probably diluting the solution because by the sixth day and night, no pain killers seemed to have any effect and I was writhing in pain.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep to awake on the seventh day. Early that morning, Dr. Suporn came to my room and removed my packing and catheter. He inspected my results: depth, sensation, and appearance all as expected. Dr. Suporn was pleased with my results, stating that there were no complications, so that is a positive sign! I was to check out that day a few hours later. Finally, on my feet.

The return to the Mercure Hotel seemed usual, yet I felt nauseas when we entered the lobby. Oh, did I vomit! It was fortunate that Panita, one of the clinic's staff members, was quick with grabbing a bag from reception because I would have made one heck of a mess in the hotel's beautiful lobby! But that was the only time I felt sick. Since then, I've regained my strength and balance on my legs (or as much as I can with sutures everywhere down under ;-) ). The next several weeks have been progressive and a return to some sense of normalcy: My appetitie returned, I've been able to walk about some distance to the local mall near the clinic and back, I've been able to shower and style my hair...you know, all the little things that we all take for granted! :-)

I've only had a couple of really sad days where emotions have overwhelmed me -- the rest of the days have been coping with a gradual recovery. The most important thing is to regain full flexibility in all limbs so that I can return to Tennis before I miss the Pro Tour in 2006! Hee hee! In actuality, it will take many months of recovery and gradual exercise to return to what I consider 100 percent, but that is my goal.

It has now been 15 days since my surgery. There have been no complications with my procedures. I've been cleared by Dr. Suporn to now travel to Pattaya, south of Chonburi. My friend Ashley I met last visit has very graciously invited me to stay at her place while in Pattaya, so I need not stay in the hotels all the time while there.

I have met more people here at the clinic and I have made more friends. I now have several Thai sisters that are the most loving and caring girls in the world -- I speak of the clinic's wonderful staff. I feel more enriched with my experiences so far. It's just amazing! I believe that everyone should come to Thailand at least once in their life to see the people smile...it's contagious!

How do I feel about all that I have endured since I've began my transition in 2002? It has been an amazing journey, yet it isn't quite over (just some facial electroloysis to complete, really). By the end of this year, I will have completed everything that I have set out to do to be complete. I have accomplished what many could not imagine anyone doing and what most will never achieve in their lifetime: to become themselves. I am finally me. It took 31 years to realize that something wasn't quite right and why I felt awkward with myself. Was the pain and torment worth it? Yes! After months and months of struggling with my inner thoughts a few years ago, the question that is the most fundamental to a person dealing with such an insidious condition as I have endured is: Do I wish to be happy or miserable? That is the most important thing.

What makes you happy? Is it love, is it amounting material wealth, is it participating in an activity that you enjoy? We all take who we are for granted. What if your mind and body were not the same? What if you were not you? What if deep down you felt that you were not the person you were meant to be? What if you felt obligated to follow a path that wasn't of your own choosing, but one that was expected of you by the rest of society? Now, what if there was a way to find peace and harmony within yourself, knowing that such means would lead to happiness? Would you have the courage to follow that path? I did, and I have now found the inner happiness which has eluded me for so long.

Thank you and my love and well-wishes to all that have stood with me during this journey of mine. Without your love and care, I would not have achieved the success that I have to this date. You are all in my heart and I thank of you all often: Family, friends, co-workers, email friends...all of you.

Life is a gift. It has taken me a long time to learn this. I hope you all find your inner happiness too. Our time on this spinning globe is limited. Is there a meaning to our existence? Perhaps, but perhaps not. In any case, "carpe diem," at least we won't waste away in misery.

Umm, I guess my "Thailand Update" turned a little metaphysical and philosophical, didn't it? Most of you know me well: I think a lot. That is why I chose a path most of you would never have anticipated me taking -- I carefully considered all options and chose the path of happiness. I'll be home soon in one piece, so don't worry everyone -- your daughter, sister, and dear friend is returning in two weeks! ;-)

With much love and happiness,

--Alissa xoxox.

FINE & CLASSY SITE
Subject: TS Girlfriend LTR Advertisement !
Date: 1/16/2005 2:35:52 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I want to take a moment to state how very thoughtful you are as a person to have such a fine and classy site, my compliments to you!

I also enjoyed reading the rules and examples you have regarding the TS chat.

Keep up the excellent work! :-)

Sincerely,

--Michelle.

HELP FOR THE TGIRLS IS APPRECIATED
Subject: Please add my email to the list
Date: 1/16/2005 12:19:55 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi TSgirlfriend,

I am very excited to find a site truly dedicated to helping us girls find our true love. I want to thank you very much. You have brought me much hope. I joined your MSN group and I will add my profile there, too.

--Elena.

REINFORCED THOUGHTS ABOUT TGIRLS
Subject: Great Article
Date: 1/10/2005 8:13:05 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Great article. It reinforced a lot of things I was thinking about. Now I just need to find someone in the southwest Florida area.

--Michael.

HE ENJOYED
Subject: Thank you.
Date: 1/6/2005 2:10:24 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I want to tell you how much I've enjoyed reading the articles that you have posted at the TSGirlfriend website. Thank you.

Yours,

--John.

TGIRL SAYS OTHER DATING SITES NOT WORKING
Subject: TY
Date: 1/5/2005 9:02:51 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Dear TS Girlfriend,

I stumbled across your web address this evening after another failed attempt at meeting someone on the regular dating websites. I am a very attractive, passable post-op TS of 21 years now and was even married once upon a time to a wonderful man.

I have been single for seven years with many attempts to meet that special person for a LTR. As anyone, I seek that chemistry which is the onset for a relationship and then the mutuality to hold it together. I just want to be loved and to love unconditionally by someone who can accept the fact that I had to make certain changes in my life to become the person I am today. Seems so simple, but the peer pressure is great and for the majority of men, this seems to be impossible.

I am willing to see what this site has to offer in the way of making this a reality. I am a young 45, athletic, healthy, woman with many interests. And I can cook with the best of them. I have always felt that love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to love the imperfect person perfectly. Being alone without a family, I am willing to go to the ends of the earth if it means happiness with one special person. Thanks for making this option available to so many "Special Girls". We are special and deserve the same bliss as anyone else. Good luck to all and may all dreams come true.

Sincerely,

--Shannon.

RESPECTABLE
Subject: Re: Ts Girlfriend Membership...
Date: 1/1/2005 6:10:23 P.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Congrats on a respectable, worthwhile site!

--C.

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