TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
January, 2007
Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.
THE
MALE HE USED TO BE
Subject: your site
Date: 1/30/2007 4:47:24 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi,
I am a 41-year-old male that, up until 26 months ago, was your typical male. Something happened to me, it was extremely painful. Somehow I got outside of myself and saw me for who I really was. Since then, I have had all these thoughts and ideas about transgenderism and being female. I started to see a therapist and have been doing so ever since. I still wonder how this could happen to me. Even if I wanted to act like the typical male I used to be, I can't! I'm getting used to that and accepting it. Have you ever heard of this type of thing happening before? It's very real to me.
Thank you for your site, it does reinforce what I have come to believe about the way I used to be.
Peace,
--Michael.
THE
WORD "SHEMALE" ON THIS TGIRL SITE
Subject: The use of the term "shemale" on your site
Date: 1/29/2007 1:21:32 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi,
I'd like to start by congratulating you on a good site for people who are attracted to transsexual women. As a trans woman who has recently married her boyfriend of 10 years, I can attest that relationships between trans people and men can and do work, and I commend your efforts in educating the men who are attracted to us.
That said, I really must object to your use of the term "shemale." Trans people find this term to be incredibly offensive, in much the same way black people are offended by "nigger" and gay men dislike "faggot".
I realize you have a disclaimer on the homepage, explaining that men who are attracted to trans women use the term in search engines, but just think. If you were authoring a dating site for people of color, would you put "nigger" in the title?
Regards,
--Suzy.
HE'S LEARNING
ABOUT TGIRLS
Subject: Your Articles
Date: 1/27/2007 11:32:52 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I've been reading all the articles on your website and they have been
very enlightening. I've learned alot. I've met a pre-op TS woman in your
chatroom that I'd like to get to know much better. Although we haven't
spoken very much, I feel that we clicked during our first encounter in
the chat.
I have no idea the what TS women go through in their lives during their transion, I can only imagine that it is very difficult, heart wrenching and stressful on all of their relationships. I'm sure those women have met with very bigoted, hateful people. Your site has stopped me from saying some of those stupid things you mention in your articles. I consider myself a very open-minded individual and I can deal with most everything. I look at it this way, if I meet the right person, I just want to love them and I want to be loved regardless of what they were born with or without.
I hope your information
helps me become closer with the lady I've met. I've been trying to learn
as much as I can.
Thanks,
--John_Indy.
WHO RUNS
THIS TGIRLS SITE?
Subject: ??
Date: 1/24/2007 9:45:07 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I was just looking around your site and found a lot of it useful -- but
who are you? I can't find anything about who exactly put this site up.
My partner is trans and I frequently get requests from guys who are looking to date trans women. I'd like to be able to recommend people to a site like yours. But I'd like to know a little "about you" before I do that.
Thanks,
--Helen.
THANKS
FOR EXPLAINING TGIRLS
Subject: Thanks for the insight :-)
Date: 1/24/2007 1:10:20 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I read your explanation of TS women and I just wanted to take the time
to say thanks for educating the rest of us men folk.
--Andre.
NO LONGER
TROLLING FOR TGIRLS
Subject: Thank you....
Date: 1/18/2007 12:25:42 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi I just wanted to thank you for your article on TSgirlfrind.com on Transsexuals
& Chatroom Decorum. I didn't realize how stupidly I've been behaving
in other chatrooms by "trolling."
Thanks again,
Sincerely,
--Henry.
OUR TGIRL'S BAD DATE
STORY
Subject: no way, that is a bad date
Date: 1/16/2007 2:14:17 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I have been chatting with a Tgirl. We are getting along great, so I came here to learn more. I read that Bad Date Story. I wanted to apologize for the goofs and actions in that article. Not all of us are like that, and I'm sorry you found one who was. I hope you don't mind, I have so many questions for this girl, and I don't know how or where to start, what's OK, what's not OK, and any help you can give would be much appreciated.
--Anthony.
A TGIRL IS OK, A MAN IS NOT
Subject: A question?
Date: 1/14/2007 6:41:40 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi,
I really enjoyed your site. I have been very confused about my own sexuality since I went to Thailand three years ago.
I had never seen a TS woman before and found them very beautiful. And I ended up having sex with one of them. I was so confused and extremely afraid of being gay. I don't find men sexy at all, but really liked the TS girls. But I like everything about them, but only if they are 100% feminine.
Your site has helped me to understand myself and others better. I date a (genetic) woman now and love it. I might end up with a woman who was born in another way. Time will tell.
I hope you wont define me as gay since I like everything on a TS girl. I cant explain it, but would never be with a man. But I like all kinds of sex with my born woman girlfriend; some of these things could be done with a man, but I would rather die than be with a man.
It is not that I don't respect gays -- I'm just not interested in them at all. And I hate it when I talk to TS women in a chat and a man dressed up in a woman's clothing contacts me. They are very aggressive and not feminine at all.
Sorry about my poor English skills.
You have my full respect for fantastic work.
Yours sincerely,
--Larry.
THE TGIRL INTEREST
IS NOT A PHASE, HE DISCOVERS
Subject: hello
Date: 1/8/2007 5:03:20 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Your site is great. I have recently told my girlfriend of over a year
that I'm attracted to Tgirls. I have been involved with only two Tgirls
and that was years ago. My girlfriend said I can have sexual relationships
with Tgirls, yet I'm afraid I may have to leave her. I thought it was
a phase, but obviously it's not. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
--Charles.
TGIRLS
EVIDENTLY INTEREST HER FIANCE
Subject: Re: Help
Date: 1/8/2007 2:26:31 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
To: Deleted
Dear Editor,
I am looking for answers which brought me to your website. I am a straight woman recently engaged to a man that has suddenly began searching porn sites everyday. I was shocked when I innocently discovered what was in his computer history when I was looking for a site address I had searched a few days earlier. I found in his computer history links to pages and pages of shemale sex with men, with, couples, etc.
It isn't about lack of sex, or incredible sex in our relationship. He knows that he can have sex with me anytime and just about any place of his choosing. So why? Why is he looking at men in makeup and dresses? He is adamant that he doesn't like me to wear makeup or even lipstick. I am very very confused!
Why is a "straight man" doing this?
I thought I should just wait and watch and see if this compulsion blows over but it hasn't and I am feeling more and more distant because I know that he knows that I found it. He clearly expected me to be angry but he keeps going back to it without hardly covering his tracks -- so what does that mean?
I find that he is searching these sites while I am asleep in his bed in the morning. I am hurt and I am scared that he is leading some sort of double life. Is he sneaking around meeting these people? He is signed up to blogs, meet for sex, and swap sites. I know that you can't answer about him personally but I am guessing that you have seen this behavior a lot and I am hoping that you can shed some light. I have not confronted him but I know that he knows I have searched his history because he made some changes to the way you look at the history, and it was immediatly after that that he began asking me if I was upset about something.
Things are very strained right now since we are not dealing openly with the elephant in the living room. He keeps asking me what is wrong, if I am angry, and he just keeps stopping to hug me and pull me close to tell me that he loves me and that I am all he wants. Which makes me feel all the sicker about this. I feel like I can't trust this man, I don't know this man, and I don't know what questions to ask or how to even discuss this with him.
I hope that you can shed some light on this for me.
Thank you.
--R.B.
GONNA
MARRY HIS TGIRL
Subject: your site is totally awesome
Date: 1/6/2007 7:15:52 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hello,
I am Patrick and have been dating and living with a pre-op girl for 2.5 years now and we love each other more and more each day. We are both truck drivers and team together most of the time. Right now she is at home and I am on the road. It is wonderful to find a cool site like this that keeps out the whores and reserves the area for girls seeking what I was lucky enough to find.
I love my girl so much. After we get her SRS, we plan on marriage, but I just wanted you to know I think your site is great and wish every real girl (not the whores) good luck in their search for happiness.
--Patrick.
HAS QUESTIONS
ABOUT TGIRLS
Subject: Question
Date: 1/5/2007 10:32:52 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Mike,
I just stumbled onto your site about a week ago, have read every word,
and found it most interesting and informative. I wish I could have found
it many years ago, before you even started it!
I still have questions of my own that aren't answered about TS ladies,
some of which sound as if you would blackball me for. I certainly mean
no disrespect to you or them, or anyone else, I have just never found
a site or met anyone to converse with about the TS community. Of course,
there are many porn sites with all types of whatever you can think of,
but that isn't what I've been looking for. In some instances, I'd like
to be inquisitive, without being offensive.
My first question is, is there an answer to each letter that you have
posted by month? An answer to them may just answer my lack of knowledge
about a very complex subject.
You have certainly given me a much deeper respect for these ladies. Thanks,
--Smilin' Jack.
WORRIED ABOUT
TGIRL'S REJECTION
Subject: Advice..
Date: 1/4/2007 3:01:38 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hello,
First off, I want to thank you for this site. It has really opened my eyes and helped me to realize how wrong I've been in a few respects. Allow me to explain. Up until the last month or so, I've identified myself as bisexual. After months of struggling, I have come to realize that I'm not, and that my clinging to this identification was due to my first love and first acceptance being with a man. I realized that I was not in all honesty attracted to men, but more so to the acceptance they offered. Enough about me, though, and onto my questions.
I had my first date last Sunday with a very amazing woman. Her name is Elizabeth. We met at work, and seem to have a lot in common. We like the same movies, music, we're both avidly into computers and video games, but most importantly we have had three hour-long phone conversations and the time just flew by. The date went really well. We did the cliche movie-and-dinner and ended up going back to her place. We played some video games, watched a movie, and ended up cuddling on the couch.
We shared our first kiss and things got a bit more heated and we started making out. Well, my hands wandered a bit to her chest, which she enjoyed, but then they wandered a bit further south. I didn't concentrate on it, but I did rub her groin a bit, which, while she didn't seem to mind, she didn't really respond to. My mentality at that point was that it would feel good to her. After reading your site, I've realized that I was probably wrong. My main question, have I totally screwed things up? We have a second date this Sunday, and she doesn't seem to be detached at all because of it, but I still worry that I made a big mistake. I'm not attracted to her because of her penis by any means, I think she is a beautiful woman and I see her as that, but again, I still worry.
Secondly, if this is fixable or simply something I can just avoid in the future, I pose a second question. Part of me feels as though I should understand Gender Identity Disorder better. At the same time, I do not see her as a transgendered person. Am I wrong to feel as though I should know more? If not, should I research this on my own or wait for her to talk about it? Or should I bring it up when the relationship has progressed far enough? I fear doing the last option simply because it would send the wrong message of me seeing her as something other than a woman.
Lastly, I again want to thank you for creating this website, it has helped me understand my budding relationship in a new light, and I have taken a lot away with me from reading.
Warmest regards,
--Brad.
ASIAN TGIRL
OFFERS THANKS
Subject: Hi Michael
Date: 1/3/2007 11:18:29 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Good day, Michael,
I'm Sofia and I'm 24 years old, from Asia. I emailed you because I wanted to thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for making TSGirlfriend.
Please extend my greetings and thanks to those people who help you make this site possible. This was a great opportunity for me to meet good people, and some of the other girls are really inspiring and really nice.
I hope that you will continue TSGirlfriend, as this will serve as a good opportunity for everyone who wants to love and be loved. I wish you all the best, and may God bless you.
--Ms. Sofia.
P.S. Happy New Year!
WHAT IF THAT
TGIRL LIKES HER DICK?
Subject: help was at your site have question
Date: 1/3/2007 8:50:53 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
OK, so I am wanting to know
if a pre-op wants to stay that way and enjoys that part of herself and
yet is comfortable being a woman. Why is that bad? I read your advice
for the bisexual male and you told us they don't like that part of their
body, but what if they do and what if we do? Then what are the right words?
It is not transsexual, and tranny is bad so what are we to do? I am just
trying to figure this out. Help, please.
Thanks,
--Darren
TGIRL ONLY
WANTS TO BE SEEN AS A WOMAN
Subject: Great website, thank you.
Date: 1/3/2007 4:08:49 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I have been dating an eight-month post-op Tgirl for about two months (she would kill me for describing her that way.) She is a woman and only wants to be seen that way, but this website is great. It is a good, practical start for finding some background about the whole trans experience (which I had no understanding of prior to meeting my girlfriend, and my girlfriend has little interest in discussing thoroughly, and I'm sure not going to push her on it).
I can relate to many of the articles you have on here. And if this relationship didn't work out for some reason (it seems like it is going to last), I'd definitely look here, in addition to the other dating sites I've used.
Thank you,
--Neil.
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