TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us
July, 2003
Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.
TGIRL
IN BOYFRIEND HUNT ARTICLE IS OFFENSIVE
Subj: About your article
Date: 7/30/2003 2:30:26 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I am male, and I just read your article entitled: "The Pre-op TS in the hunt for boyfriends" or something along those lines.
I should let you know now that I find it offensive as hell. I find it very difficult to believe that, in this day and age, when everyone seems to be making an effort to change their perceptions of people in society, you can make such an ignorant generalization.
To be quite honest, as a man, I am fed up to the back teeth with being told that "all men are bastards," "all men think with their dicks,""all men are pigs," etc. Let me tell you this right now: The only reason why you ladies (genetic or TS) think that all men are like this is because this is the only type of man you people choose.
Me and many of my friends are good people who treat women with respect and kindness. And what do we get for it? We are told that we are "too nice" and that they want a man who will "treat them rough," or "tell them to shut up," etc. They then have the gall to complain about these kind of men, thus prompting the kinds of generalization you have put up on your site.
My friends and I have had to endure many a heartache because of this kind of behavior, but none of us, no matter how hard we try, can bring ourselves to become the bastards who get the girls -- and, to be quite frank, having read this article, it gives me even less reason to do so; I have no desire to give you the satisfaction of being proven right.
It's very easy to prove this article wrong; just use your eyes, ears and mind -- there are plenty of us out there. Just don't keep rejecting us.
Thank you for your attention.
--Ben S.
MET
TGIRL AT A WEDDING
Subj: Praise for your site
Date: 7/30/2003 10:14:51 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I found the articles contained in this website both fascinating, insightful and reassuring. It was only most recently that I really became aware of the TS world. It was at a wedding I was introduced to a Tgirl and had the opportunity to both talk and do some innocent flirting with her. I found her the most appealing woman I had ever met. After reading several of the articles in your website I realized it was her total femininity, her laugh.
I know it sounds silly, but she seemed more of a woman than any other woman I have met. The idea of sex with her never occurred to me. I was enjoying her company too much. Your chat line is very nice and comfortable to be in. I was rather nervous and only stayed a few minutes, but it was an enjoyable experience. Thanks for the website. If I ever have the pleasure of dating one of these charming ladies, I will ensure I reread them. Thanks from Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.
--Michael.
WANTS
A TGIRL RELATIONSHIP
Subj: I really enjoyed your article
Date: 7/27/2003 8:39:59 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Your article was one of the most informative and well written I have read on the subject. Thank you. I have always been interested in a TS relationship but had no idea how to approach one for the very reasons you list in this article.
THE
TGIRL MYTH
Subj: Men are pigs and "women in men's bodies"
Date: 7/26/2003 1:03:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
You have a very interesting site. There's much that I agree with and much that I don't. Yet, the site lends itself to provocative thinking.
"Men are pigs."
The thing I agree with most is that men are pigs, so deal with it. I've actually been pretty monogamous throughout my journey through this vale of terrors. It's primarily because I am relationship oriented and too lazy (or disinterested) to want to manage multiple relationships. And, I've never had much interest in trollops or players (in fact, I run from them since I am relationship oriented.)
Of course men are pigs, if they weren't, then we wouldn't be here. Genetically, all men are programmed to procreate. As a species, our survival depended upon procreation so the survival of the species requires men to be pigs. Now, maybe the survival of the species no longer requires men to be pigs, but genetically males haven't been altered yet so they will remain such. So until men are genetically altered so they are no longer, men will remain pigs in their hearts whether they actually behave as pigs.
Ah, men aren't the civility influence, they are the civilization builders. The species required sexual hunters, hunters and killers for survival. After the rise of agricultural societies. Population expanded require competition for the land.
"Women in male bodies."
Probably, what I disagree with most are that transsexuals are women in male bodies. Rather, I believe they are femme men. That is, men whose feminine personas dominate. I view the universe as a four-gendered system of masculine men, feminine men, masculine women and feminine women. Thus, there are few genetic mistakes. Transsexual women were meant to have the bodies they were given. For whatever the reason, the survival of the species required all four genders.
I am uncertain of the cause of their necessity. But, it was not an accident that many of the ancient female religious became dominated by males with feminine persona such as the gallae the male priestesses of Cybele. Ishtar/Innana and Astarte/Ashtoreh are two more. The hejiras are priestesses of a Hindi goddess. Apparently, Quetzal (not Quetzalcoatl -- the fire serpent) an Aztec female deity also had male priestesses. Based diet and other practices, I also believed that the alleged Sumerian genetic experiment wasn't to produce a master race of super masculine males but to produce super femme males. So, there has to be an important reason for the existence of femme males and masculine females.
The reason for the rise in the belief of "women in men's bodies" came because Western society recognizes only two genders leading to an identity crisis for at least some femme males. While at an intellectual level I don't believe in "women in men's bodies," I would never argue about what a specific femme male had to do to cope with the trials and tribulations of being a femme male in this society.
--Calvin.
WILL DATE A PRO
TGIRL
Subj: thanks
Date: 7/26/2003 12:21:08 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
A great article. I`m a married male who thinks a lot about making love
to a shemale.Your article showes what idiots we can be. I will try dating
a pro to see what I`m all about. A bisexual husband?
MESSAGE
TO EACH TGIRL: BE PATIENT
Subj: What I learned.
Date: 7/17/2003 8:17:50 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Late
last night I joined your chat group. It was a "through the looking
glass" experience, actually a Stephen in "genderland" experience.
The discussion, as I understood it, revolved around the question, "Is SRS the necessary final step toward achieving full womanhood? Is it necessary to have a vagina to be considered a real woman?" The day before, I would have answered resoundingly, "Yes, of course." I had thought that every pre-op wanted to become a post-op. But apparently it's not that simple.
So what have I learned in the short time I spent in your chat group: Men, if you want to have a genuine, long-lasting relationship with a TS woman, sensitively is a must, but knowledge of her mind AND body may be sine qua non.
Women, be patient with us, the knowledge you possess is unknown territory for a man.
--Stephen.
TGIRL
SAYS EROTIC SURRENDER IS EXACTLY RIGHT
Subj: Comment on How To Date a Pre-op TS
Date: 7/16/2003 5:08:48 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
When you said, "women love to be 'taken' by a masculine man, since it is the act of erotic surrender that centers them," I just stopped dead in my tracks; that's IT -- the whole thing. I don't know where the line is drawn, exactly; I don't want to be raped. But "erotic surrender" is *everything* I've been missing for way too long!
--Liz.
THOSE
TGIRL HARDSHIPS
Subj: A story and a comment.
Date: 7/16/2003 11:08:56 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I am a publisher. Several months ago, I was presented with a book proposal for a history of crossdressing in England and America. Knowing little on the subject, I immediately went to Google and searched with the following results:
Crossdressing, 134,000
websites.
Transvestite, 670,000 websites.
Transgendered, 697,000 websites.
But transsexual proved the most daunting with 1,240,000 websites.
Even accounting for massive duplication, the task of reseaching these subjects was incredibly difficult. I just dove in, and two months later I am the office "expert." All this means is whenever a proposal, or manuscript comes in on these subjects, it will end up on my desk. (By the way, we only publish serious scholarly works, no fiction, or memoirs.)
Before beginning this project, I could not have imagined the hardships faced by pre-ops, hardships which hardly lessen for post-ops ("dilation forever?!")
Of the hundreds of sites that I have read, yours is among the most humane. It is both educational, and to the point. A must read for anyone who would like to begin a relationship with someone who is pre-op.
--Stephen.
TGIRL
ASKS: WHERE ARE ALL THE GENTLEMEN?
Subj: Re: About your article
Date: 7/15/2003 10:19:51 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I just
wanted to say that I am very impressed with what you had to say. So many
times, we 
(TG's,
TS's, etc.) get taken for granted and get taken advantage of. When we
meet a perfect gentleman, we do not believe his sincerity. We look at
it as another line and are on the defensive from the beginning. Men have
to remember that we are a work in progress, but we care about ourselves
and need the support of a caring, gentle man.
I live in Central Florida and it is very difficult to find a gentleman
first off, but to find one who wants to commit or does not know how to
present himself, nor act, is an uncommon occurence. They act as if we
are the way we are so they can have an experience or a little "piece"
on the side away from the norm. Where are all the gentlemen, I ask?
Again, thank you for your exquisite candor.
Sincerely,
--Eriqa.
AT
75, TGIRL LTR MIGHT NOT BE VERY LONG
Subj: ?
Date: 7/12/2003 6:39:39 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I looked at your list of TS's. Number one, I am 75 years old. I don't know how long a LTR will last. I can't write to these girls and tell them how long I will last, that depends on things outside of my control. I am on a pension and I couldn't afford to give a girl a whopping good time. I gave up dancing when my wife passed away (not that I was good anyway, a slow foxtrot and stepping on her feet every so often.) I was always better at intermissions. It is amazing that I could look at a beautiful and/or pleasant woman with no thought of sex and just admire her wonderful body. Advice welcomed.
--Raymond.
TGIRL
SAYS IT'S FUNNY & SMART
Subj: Great site!
Date: 7/12/2003 1:37:24 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi,
I've
been out of town, but I just had the chance to visit TSGirlfriend.com,
and I love it! It's funny, smart, and very much needed. If I were ever
to go TS, I would be very glad a site like yours is out there. I could
go on, but suffice it to say: Great job!
Alice N., M.D. (Psychiatry).
TGIRL
SAYS DROP THE RACY ANIMATION
Subj: articles
Date: 7/12/2003 12:18:59 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hey there,
I am a very frequent visitor to your site's chatroom, and I thank you
for it. I am a TS and have never had any real contact with other TS's,
even though I live in Los Angeles. So your site allows me to talk to others
like myself, and that is cool.
I like your site a lot and have read almost the whole thing. I just read
your new article tonight about "admirers." Once again, very
good. The thing I don't understand at all is, how your site can be so
upscale, and anti-trashy against things like prostitutes and the such,
yet your homepage has an animation of a ladyboy with its member sticking
out? Like you say so often in your articles, we don't like that sort of
thing here, so why put it on the homepage to remind us of it? It also
is the one thing that makes me hesitant about sending my family and friends
here to learn about what we face. You have done so much good work, why
do you keep a cartoon porn picture on the homepage?
I am just saying, I love the site and would share it with more of my friends
(who like myself, tend to be more conservative) but that picture is just
outside the realm of their tastes. I hope this makes sense to you. Anyway
I just wanted to say thanks for creating a great place to go where it
is safe and clean. (The chatroom).
--Elle.
A
TGIRL WILL KNOW HOW HE FEELS
Subj: Your Forum:
Date: 7/10/2003 9:21:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Cutter808@msn.com
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hello:
This morning I was
reading your Dating Advisor page and I feel I have something to say here
that may clear up some issues. Understand this comes from a straight man
who is looking for a long-term relationship with as TS girl, with or without
a 
penis.
I hope I am in the right forum for my observations.
First, I would like to tell you something about me so that you understand where I am coming from. Why a TS? Because I have been down the road with GG's and I can honestly say that my encounters with women, and there have been many, have the tendency to want something. I am a retired policeman who was in uniform for 20 years and many women were attracted to the uniform. They would act as a girlfriend so they could show me off and say, "I am dating a cop." Then there were those who were divorced and had children and were looking for a father for their children. Once the kids were all set, goodbye. I have spent most of my life giving and not really getting anything in return. Sure they would bed me in order to "keep" what they had, but after a number of years, I caught on.
Why a TS girl you ask? Very simple, she knows how I feel and I believe there would be an equal sharing in the relationship. I am a firm believer in communication and compromise. I need to be needed just like everyone else in this world. But I have not found it yet.
In response to the lady with the problem of a guy wanting a relationship too soon, I guess I am guilty of this myself sometimes. When you meet someone you really like, you want to keep her for yourself. Obviously, you have done something for him that made the difference. Maybe you just took the time to listen to him. As I said, each one of us has his or her past, good or bad, and when someone listens to you, he may get his signals mixed up and say she is listening to me, maybe she is really interested in me. My policy is, if I am not wanted, I don't go there.
The crux to this email to you is this. I feel very strongly that a man wanting to be with a TS girl should know what he is getting in for. I don't look at TS's, TV's or GG's in any other way than as women. Since I know how to treat a woman, I know what to do to please my partner. Is it sex? Nah, I can always masturbate. I want the security, the love, the tenderness that goes along with a relationship.
--Don.
WANTS
THE TGIRL ON TOP
Subj: Feedback on your article
Date: 7/9/2003 12:13:24 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I totally understand and respect what your article had to say about dating transsexual women, but I have to disagree with the last part of point #7 where you basically say that women don't like to top men, so a truly feminine TS will not want to top a man.
I have had sex with women who got off on the power and control involved with using a stap-on with me, and were thrilled to be able to give me so much pleasure in a different way. Also, I would suspect that anyone male or female who has a penis would, at least occasionally, want to have it sucked on, and/or repeatedly driven deep inside something warm and wet.
I have to believe this is true, as I am looking for a transsexual girlfriend and I need to be topped from time to time. I am a nice guy and just wish I could meet a Tgirl in NYC who isn't just looking for money.
Thanks again for your article.
--J.R.
MET
GREAT PEOPLE HERE
Subj: Hello
Date: 7/7/2003 4:35:09 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Michael,
This is southern_33 from the site's chatroom. I would like to say how much I love this site. It isn’t easy for guy in North Alabama to meet a TS. I would also like to say, it has been great to meet, and chat with you and all the other wonderful people I have met this past week or so.
I would love to have my email address, and a little about me added to your site. I am not sure how to go about this. Please let me know. Take care.
--Mark.
ONLY TGIRL ESCORTS
SO FAR
Subj: Great site
Date: 7/5/2003 12:17:17 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
Hi, my name is George. I found your site and found it to be very informative. I have been looking for a girl to be friends with first, then maybe something more later. Unfortunately, all of the girls I have met lately have been escorts. Nice girls, but I want more than that. Your site has offered more insight for me.
Thanks,
--George.
TGIRL
SAYS WE NAILED THE ADMIRERS
Subj: Admirers
Date: 7/2/2003 7:02:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com
This was definitely one of your more insightful articles. Everything you said is so true. Most the of these "admirers" usually have an AOL profile stating that they are looking for a crossdresser. That's the a big clue that they aren't interested in anything but an erotic fantasy. Also, you might find some of them hanging out in the gay chat rooms. Most of us Tgirls don't hang out in anything identified as "gay." The simple fact is these guys are just closet homosexuals looking for a way to pacify their own guilt and shame. You also pointed out that they want to meet away from their own town, usually give a cell number and not a home number, as well as wanting to meet in the most obscure places. I should also mention that a lot of them cannot carry a conversation unless it revolves around sex or the prospect of getting a PIC. You are completely on the money with this article.
--Venomous Angel.
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