TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

March, 2010

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

YOUNG TGIRL LOOKS FOR OLDER MEN
Subject: In response to why men run from relationships.
Date: 3/31/2010 2:38:09 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSGirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I love your site. Just wanted to ask some questions and maybe give some ideas for another article. I am a 25-year-old TS who transitioned at 19 to full time. I completely understand the accepting older men thing. Truthfully, I believe I am too mature mentally for a man my age. I usually look for 30s to mid-40s. The reason I don't look older is I want to get married.

Maybe you should write an article on marriage and the T-girl. Is it ignorant to think that such a thing is possible? I know there are legal issues, but that doesn't mean I can't hold it true in my heart. I am not looking for someone to love while I am 25 and he is 55. I mean, it takes the whole growing old together thing out of the picture. Just some thoughts from a young TS woman.

Thanks for your time.

--A.R.

HE'S 19 & WONDERING HOW TO MEET A T-GIRL
Subject: Help.
Date: 3/19/2010 11:00:53 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSGirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

My name is James, I am 19 years old and I need some help. Your website has provided me with the best information so far, but I still have some questions. I know I am young but I have found that I find T-girls very attractive, though I have never met one in person.

I would love to try and start a relationship with one. This is because my luck with women is so bad. I always seem to meet the flakiest girls that say they want something serious and don't mean it. So I'm fed up and want to try something new. However, I'm not sure how to got about finding a nice T-girl.

I am afraid to do the whole online thing because you don't know who is really on the other end, and also because a lot of TS dating sited cost money and I live with my parents, so my mom checks my banking statements. I do not want her to get any suspicions. And since I am 19, I am still too young to go to any T-girl-friendly bars/nightclubs. So I am not sure what to do.

I think their form is the epitome of beauty and I find nothing more attractive than a beautiful T-girl. I live in New Jersey and I have tried to find places that I might be able to go, but my search has turned up empty. I'm really a great guy. I love making girls feel like they are a princess and I'm tired of all the rejection from genetic girls.

If you could please help me, I would very much appreciate it. Anything thing you can tell me would be very helpful.

Sincerely,

--James N.

DATING A TGIRL ARTICLE BROUGHT TEARS
Subject: date-a-pre-op-ts-article
Date: 3/16/2010 8:53:47 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSGirlfriend4me@aol.com

Michael:

I have never seen a better written article on what we as TS women do, in fact, seek in a male partner. Your article about dating the pre-op TS was so well written it actually made me cry as it made me realize someone out there truly does understand and does know how to make others understand. Thank you for that. A warm =HUG= to you.

Indeed, we want to be treated as women and wish to treat our male partner as someone we can genuinely fall for and love. And you hit it right on with regard to sexuality, too. We are on average more submissive to our man than the average GG is these days. We love to melt into his strong arms and be held by him and cuddled. We love to hear how his day went and nurture his needs. When he has a hard day, we try to console him and make it better for him.

The guy who seeks one of us as his life companion gets a woman with the values of the olden times GG, not the values of the modern GG. We follow the old values of being there for our man in all ways, not for what he can bring to us in a relationship, but for what we can bring to him as an equal, loving partner.

He goes out to work daily and deals with hard stress at work, and when coming home, he does not want more stress from a gal who is self centered and egotistical. No, he wants a girl who will listen to and understand him and the TS gal is surely that.

Your article is beautiful to read. You expressed all this in different words. I truly hope the men who read it learn from it.

Feel free to add quotes from anything I have said if you so wish but please without my name used.

--Monica.

NO LUCK WHATSOEVER FINDING A TGIRL
Subject: I need help.
Date: 3/12/2010 2:34:17 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSGirlfriend4me@aol.com

Look, I am an honest guy who realized about two years ago that I enjoy certain things that only a guy can provide. The unfortunate reality of that is that I know I am not gay and I do not want to be with another man. All I can think about now is finding a girl who is male on the bottom or both male and female below, and I find myself perusing these sites with no luck whatsoever.

I don't want to be a freak and I don't want to offend anyone at all, but the fact of the matter is that I love boobs and pretty faces, but when it comes to sex I find myself out of the loop. I have only had anal sex once and it was a let down, but the fact that I allowed it to happen taught me one thing, I don't want a man.

So as you can see, my feelings between what I want and what I would accept lead me to a woman who has a penis and I really believe that that is what will make me happy. I have discussed it with a couple close friends in confidence, but the need for this grows stronger each day, and no matter what I am doing it is in the back of my head.

I don't want to get roped into spending a ton of money and I would appreciate anything you have to offer for finding what it is I want in my life. If I have wasted your time, I apologize, but seriously, whether I'm drunk, sober stoned or not, all I think about is having a girlfriend that has a penis and sharing all that means with her.

I hope that you understand, and if you think I'm an idiot, then so be it, but if you can help I would gladly take your advice and follow your direction.

I hope this email wasn't out of line.

Sincerely,

--Dave T.

DRESSED TO THE NINES DIESEL MECHANICS
Subject: Dana C email for March letters
Date: 3/3/2010 11:05:00 A.M. Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSGirlfriend4me@aol.com

From Dana C. at MySpace:

Hey Michael:

Just read your relatively new post, "Dating a Transwoman: My Adventures & Some Advice." Of course, I knew it was only relatively new, 'cause you only mention seeing Avatar 10 times and I know you're WAAAY beyond that! LOL

Man, you really struck home with a lot on this one. Interestingly, I've given much of that thought in my years in the so-called (in my mind, "lack of" should precede) community. The "Princess Syndrome" is one, particularly all these people playing at "Sorority Life." Give me a break!

I've often thought that anyone serious about transitioning needs some sort of mentoring, and in fact, I've been asked by several women I know to give them cooking lessons. Now that's a switch, the man teaching the woman! Of course, I'm an award-winning baker and lifetime cook, and generally get high marks in the kitchen (we won't talk about other places), so perhaps there's an opportunity here.

My experiences have always been a bit interesting, and I'm sure you've had similar ones. While certainly no prude and not one to hide more or less anything, I personally believe it's no one's business whether a person is transgendered or not -- unless they personally wish people to know. So, particularly for those transwomen who want to "blend," a relatively innocuous term, it always amazes me when on a date and -- although they project to all outward appearances, i.e. tastefully-done clothing, makeup, voice, etc., the epitome of femininity -- they start a sentence with: "Well, when I was a diesel mechanic in that truck stop...."

And of course, people turn and look. Now, you know and I know, and quite possibly the rest of the world knows, that many natal women have been mechanics, particularly in today's all-volunteer military. But to see and hear someone all dressed up for a night on the town start talking about changing tires or crawling under a tractor or doing welding or some other typically macho occupation, sends a message and nearly always makes me cringe. It's as if they can't let go of a part of themselves from the past.

They claim to be making -- or want to make -- a clean (pardon the pun) breast of it. Personally, I don't care what they did in their former life, other than being a prostitute or drug dealer or -- shudder -- axe murderer, but make up some appropriate occupation that no one will catch you on and forget about the, "Well, if it were me, I'd adjust the fliberdygibbit two turns to the left and they be sure to screw in the ixnay tube or you'll get antifreeze spraying all over the interior, that happened to me once when I was turning wrenches at Big Al's Truck Stop in East Dubuque."

The Photoshopped pictures and age variables are way too obvious, unfortunately, and while we all tend to vary our ages or wish we looked younger, better, had more hair (or in your case, WAAAY too much, LOL), when you do know better, it tends to make you wonder.

I dated someone about two years ago who did precisely what you mentioned in the post. After about two or three months of dates and some business-related activities, she -- overnight -- turned into someone I didn't even know. She accused me of insensitivity, failure to take her needs into account, trying to run her life, et al. Later, her profile showed up online with only her best shots, not Photoshopped but definitely a bit out of focus, and shaving about seven years off her age.

Most definitely weird. But, after living with the woman I did for 10 years, who started out sweet (more or less), and only a bit of a control freak, turned into a certifiable head case with major emotional difficulties, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by anything.

Anyway, good post! Sorry to hear about the dating site, I did actually meet someone there…oops! That's right, the person who changed overnight on me! LOL -- Never mind.

--Dana C.

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