TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

May, 2003

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

SEEKING A PRE-OP TGIRL
Subj: Hello
Date: 5/28/2003 10:06:03 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi!

I never knew this existed and have kept myself hidden on this subject and have dated women, but really wanted a pre-op TS. It holds some great spiritual blessings for myself and I am interested in a long-term relationship. If she eventually goes post-op, OK. But I need the pre-op experience as well. It would be a challenge to see this balancing of the male/female in the heart chakra of my lover and myself. Is there is any way I may get on the list for eligable men? I ask for the opportunity as I see these new women as an expresion of their inner most being coming into fruition and maturity. Such courage! Please advise on what site I should focus for a mate.

--Tom.

STILL SEEKING MS. RIGHT
Subj: Website
Date: 5/26/2003 7:10:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello,

Just a short note to let you know how much this expereinced, straight SWM enjoyed your website. Although, I've had a couple semi-long TS relationships before, I'm still seeking "Ms. TS Right." If you know of any sane and sexy TS's in the San Diego area, please forward my attached pic to her. Both of us will appreciate it.

Thanks, and keep up the good work.

--JBG.

HIS TGIRL HASN'T LOST THE ART OF BEING FEMININE
Subj: great article at TSgirlfriend.com
Date: 5/21/2003 11:34:06 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TS Nikki LA@aol.com

Hi Nikki,

I am Mike and I live in Cleveland, Tennessee. I really enjoyed your article at TS Girlfriend. My pre-op TS girlfriend told me about the website.

You are so right that it isn't about the penis. While that can be intriguing and fun, it is so much about being understood, and the unique feminine properties that a TS brings to the relationship. In short, women have lost the art of being feminine altogether. TS's have it down! I also liked your point about understanding how your man had to stay at work late, because you had been the alpha male. Great stuff.

I have been married 15 years and am getting ready to separate. I have denied my true feelings and physical/sexual attraction to TS's for some 20 years, and finally enough was enough. I met a sweet TS online and while we don't want a long-term relationship, she has become a wonderful lover and friend. I was amazed at how all my emotions and sexual desires "came together" when I experienced getting to know her and then sex with her. I am still attracted to GG women to an extent, but my heart has been with TS's from the first time I saw one in my late teens. It's a tough thing for the guy that loves TS's to discover and accept as well. You wonder if you're bi, gay or what. But I knew I wasn't attracted to "just men." Your article would have done me wonders had I seen it years ago.

I hope your life after your gender reassignment is fulfilling and you get every ounce of happiness you desire. Add me to your buddy list and if you ever want to chat. I'd be honored!

--Mike.

TGIRL SAYS THANKS
Subj: your site
Date: 5/20/2003 10:48:50 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I like it, you did your homework. Thank you for putting up a very heartfelt site, I am so glad you did it, thank you. I hope others will read it and learn.

--Jamie.

TGIRL HAS MULTIPLE ORGASMS WITHOUT HORMONES
Subj: regarding your website
Date: 5/18/2003 9:58:52 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I know you already know me from the chatroom. First, I'd like to point out that I'm pre-op, not taking HRT [hormone replacement therapy] and will most likely stay that way since I have two great kids and will have to make certain sacrifices for them though I'm as femme about 18/7.

I read much of your website and thought it was really great and very informative. Some aspects of what you point out also have helped me and I'm sure other TG's and TS's in understanding ourselves. Especially since some changes we experience from going from male to female gradually isn't openly discussed even among others like ourselves, mostly due to it be embarrassing to discuss.

What I wanted to really point out to you is that some non-HRT TG's and TS's can have multiple orgasms as can GG's and TG's and TS's on HRT. Personally, I am not on HRT nor have I ever been, yet I have multiples myself (not via penile stimulation). If I experience this, I'm sure there are others too who are also not on HRT. I know the intent of your writing isn't really about this and is more directed to males and dating, but I'm only pointing it out so others like me reading your article don't get the impression that there's something wrong with them just 'cause they aren't taking anything and are still very much stimulated in a GG sort of way. I'd just like to say, though, that your website is really great. Thanks.

--Lisa.

TGIRL IS FRIEND OF EX-BOYFRIEND'S FAMILY
Subj: (no subject)
Date: 5/13/2003 5:57:29 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

In response to the letter "The Tgirl & His Family" in TS Dating Advice:

I once dated a guy, ages ago now, that introduced me to his mom and dad. I went to numerous family functions: Christmas, BBQs, Easter, Sunday dinners, etc. They did not know that I was a TS and treated me like anyone else. Eventually he told them and they were shocked. I was furious because things were going so well. I was terrified that they were going to start acting weird around me. I stopped going over to their house and he and I drifted apart. It's almost as if he drove a wedge between us.

He and I are no longer together but both of his parents email me, call, and still drop by to visit. His parents hate his current genetic girlfriend, how fat and unlady like she is, and are always mentioning how good we were together. Although there are reasons his parents don't need to know why things didn't and would not work out in the future between he and I, they still want us back together. His mother confided in me that had he never told them my situation (being a TS) they would have never thought otherwise. So, I think, if she's not "clockable" there isn't any reason for him to tell his parents unless he is just looking for some shock value or figuring out a way to break up.

NEW TGIRL RELATIONSHIP AT DISTANCE
Subj: Personal
Date: 5/10/2003 9:21:49 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Between you and me, at 60 next month, I met a girl who is 56 through your site. Right now it is a long, long-distance relationship. We both hope everything will work for us. She seems to be what had been missing for years.

--Michael.

ON MEETING TGIRLS
Subj: Dating
Date: 5/10/2003 12:20:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I read your article and think it was right on the button. But the thing I see is still how to meet someone and get to know them as a friend then as soneone you really like and then maybe love or as a best friend. If you have a good thought, I would like to know.

--Jerry.

HE SAYS IT SHOWS COURAGE
Subj: Your story - Dating a Post-Op Transsexual
Date: 5/9/2003 10:37:47 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSnikkiLA@aol.com

Hello,

I have been researching post-op transsexual dating to learn more about this topic and am also looking for good websites in the New Jersey area to meet nice post-op transsexuals. I am very interested in meeting someone to develop a relationship with who is feminine and attractive.

I am a 40-year-old heterosexual male, have a stable lifestyle, and have a professional career. I enjoyed reading your article on dating the post-op transsexual.

I felt your views are very much true from both aspects of how a newly gendered female and natural male can better understand and relate to each other. I know a relationship like this would be a much deeper and satisfying one than any natural male/female relationship in the long run.

I give a lot of credit to you for undertaking the steps you have in truly being in touch with yourself and doing the procedure. It shows a lot of courage on your part. A lot of people would fall short. I will check out the other links on your website to see if I can maybe meet someone right for me.

"THE BIGGEST PIG OF ALL"
Subj: "all men are pigs" the pre-op ts in boyfriend hunt
Date: 5/9/2003 6:38:09 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Thank you for writing an informative and enlightening piece on the issue of men/women interactions. I say that because to me at least, pre-, post- whatever the designation, are still women, different to be sure, but no less equal.

I have four daughters and felt responsible for educating them as well as I could concerning relationships. Ultimately I told them, "All men are pigs/dogs and I am the biggest one of all." I can't apologize for being a man, but women have the power to educate their partners.

To me, the plumbing (sexual apparatus) isn't the important thing, it's the pump (heart). As a fairly healthy man, I do enjoy a physical relationship but find all aspects better if we both are accepting of who we are and treat each other with respect. Sex is great but focusing on that alone is far too limiting. I didn't want to politicize, rather I wish to express my thanks.

--Donald.

TGIRL TO THE CORPS
Subj: Awesome
Date: 5/7/2003 10:14:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Your article in regards to having a successful relationship with a Tgirl comparable to a GG is awesome. I am a 36-year-old heterosexual, handsome, manly guy who just happens to be a Marine and very attracted to Tgirls. Knowing that being attracted to Tgirls because of their feminine qualities doesn't make me gay is comforting, not that being gay is wrong or immoral. However, great info and I appreciate all that Tgirls have to offer. Hopefully all of the judgmental people will stumble upon your article and someday have a better understanding of Tgirls. I know I do.

Sincerely,

--Marvin (An admirer.)

P.S. You would be surprised at how closely a Tgirl and a female Marine would identify with each other.

ANIMATED TGIRL IS VERY CUTE
Subj: Re the letter from Sarah and the Animated Girl
Date: 5/7/2003 4:50:16 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

(The animated gif on the homepage) is not offensive at all. In fact, it is very cute. Seems like Sarah [scroll down two letters] may be afraid, if that is the correct word, about being attractive to a male and how she would or should be treated. I am a male, and have a TS friend who is a cardiologist. What she told me was that chromosomes and body parts don't matter. What matters is whether two people are attracted to, and compatible with, each other. Thanks.

--Michael.

ENJOYED THE READING
Subj: Compliments for a GREAT website!
Date: 5/3/2003 7:48:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hello,

I just wanted to compliment you on an outstanding website. I enjoyed reading your articles. Please keep up the good work!!

Best regards,

--John.

THE ANIMATED TGIRL ON THE HOMEPAGE
Subj: Re: Hi My name is rachel
Date: 5/3/2003 11:29:46 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I'm sorry if I caused any problem for you with Rachel. That wasn't my intent. I'm a Tgirl myself, I only wanted to show her the cartoon picture of a person in transition, nothing more. I guess I'm still new enough to just enjoy the picture and not be offended. I knew what you were trying to do, to educate those who would misunderstand us.

I am new to my transition, so your information was interesting to me. I wonder myself at times what a guy would see in me, or treat me like. Your words on how a Tgirl would want to be treated touched me 'cause that is the way I feel, yet being so new to myself, I wasn't sure if others felt that way. You see, I come from a sheltered background, so I wasn't so sure how others felt. I think your site indeed would help men or even women who want to interact with a Tgirl to do so in a proper way.

I agree that if they are looking for a thrill, they should go to an escort service. Thats what they are there for.

--Sarah.

DON'T CALL TGIRLS "SHEMALES"
Subj: Hi My name is rachel
Date: 5/3/2003 9:25:13 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi,

I am a M-to-F TS, full time for eight years. I work as a political activist, TG writer, and community activist. I am extremely well versed in the ways of our community. I saw your site and wanted to offer a bit of information. Your liberal use of the word "shemale" is a major problem.

I have found that 99% of the few thousand TS and TG people I have talked with over the years hate that name. Most all fine it derogatory and offensive. There is a good reason for that.The word is a porno term and or it represents the Tgirls that work in the sex industry. I know many girls in the sex industry most of them hate the word, too. To use the name promotes the negative sexual stereotypes associated with the sex industry. The word buy's into the misinformation that TG people are all about sex. Nothing can be further from the truth.

Most TS's on hormones are more asexual than not. We don't transition for the sake of sex but for our sanity and identity. It may interest you to know that the vast majority of TS or TG people are normal people in most ways not the sexual deviates that the term "shemale" connotations. Only 10% or less of Tgirls are in the sex industry. The word is an unfair, unrealistic promotion of a fantasy; not the reality of our real community. The bottom line is, if you want to piss off a TS girl, call her a shemale. I hope you find this information helpful.

--Rachel T.

Allow me to clarify matters. First off, I agree with you. "Shemale" is not a term I ought to be using. But the goal of the website is to educate men. They are the target audience. Men use search engines and the term "shemale." I am a search engine expert. In order to reach these men, I tuned this website to respond well to some important keyword phrases, including those which include the term "shemale." I can't educate 'em if I can't reach 'em. The strategy is to put this website directly in their way so they stumble over it when they are looking for shemale stuff. I know the term is offensive but this is the way it has to be if I am going to get their attention. Thanks for your understanding.

OF TGIRLS & STRAIGHT GUYS
Subj: the article
Date: 5/2/2003 5:17:18 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Loved the [dating a pre-op TS] article, it was true! What you said about straight men and TS's, it just fits!! Since I have had the experience, I have been starting to think about sexuality; havent figured it out yet! LOL. Great site!

SUCH GREAT TGIRLS
Subj: Great service you are providing....
Date: 5/2/2003 4:56:09 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Deleted
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I live here in the Temecula area of Southern California, and have emailed several of the local ladies. It's been a great service -- and such wonderful women. I want to thank you and hope that more "nice" guys are out there for these ladies.

Thanks so much.

--Dennis.

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