TGirls Letters - TGirl feedback to us

TGirls Letters - TGirl Feedback to Us

May, 2006

Our TGirls Letters section is devoted to feedback we receive. The most recent letters appear at the top.

A TGIRL DOCUMENTARY FILM PROJECT
Subject: Advice sought ... any assistance?
Date: 5/24/2006 4:05:20 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: jay_edinburgh1@yahoo.co.uk
To: tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Hi there - hope you're well!

First of all, congrats on the site. I've only just stumbled across it, but I think it looks great and look forward to reading a few more of the articles.

Putting my cards on the table right from the beginning, I'm a 37-year-old guy who has always had a preference for transgendered women -- ever since I can remember. I'm waaaaay past the stage where I even question the whys or wherefores, but what I do know is that it goes beyond the simple -- and somewhat typical -- "admirers" sex/fetishistic/penis thing. It's as much about the character and the individual as anything else. But the way I look at it is that some guys like blondes, others brunettes, and these guys rarely stop to question why, they just do. Well, that's how I feel, too.

Anyway, the reasons I'm contacting you is that I do feel very strongly -- and increasingly strongly -- about the sad fact that there are so many guys out there who are strongly drawn to TS women, but for whatever reason don't want to admit it to themselves or to others. Hiding it away, skulking about, popping into TG bars and hoping no-one sees them, that kinda thing. I can get a bit soap-boxy about this, (and I think I'm just about to!), but it strikes me that this is like the last taboo in our society and, frankly, it pisses me off! If a guy were to go into work and let it be known that he was gay and lived with his gay partner then, frankly, no one would bat an eyelid anymore, nor should they. Our society is far more tolerant and accepting these days, or so we are led to believe. But how many guys would be quite so confident about saying they had a TS partner? And how many of their colleagues would be totally non-judgmental and accept it without question? Let's face it, it's rare. And that's a disgrace.

I remember a girl told me once that in order for TSs to be fully accepted in society, it's not enough that THEY should be a lot more open and confident about it, but their male partners have to be confident about this, too. And I think she's right.

OK, now here's the meat of my query/call for assistance. I run a small documentary production company and I'm just starting to get some work from one of the major network TV channels here in the UK. I've thought for a while that I'd like to make a film about this, focusing on the guys (not admirers!) who date, live with orhave married TS partners. It goes without saying that I have absolutely no intention of the film being in any way exploitive. It needs to be sensitively handled and, obviously, there's a lot I'd like to say. The question I have, I guess, is do you think this idea is a little naive, if not a little worthy?

I know there would be lots of issues with this. Part of the problem, I guess, is that TS girls often do not want to be identified as TS, just as regular women. So how would they feel about exposing themselves so publicly when this might go against everything that they have been through to be recognized as women? This, I think, is one of the fundamental problems of TS acceptance in mainstream society. The media is largely to blame because TV/media representations of TS women tends to be focus on larger-than-life characters or all about the cheesy shock/exploitation, Jerry Springer type "...and then I found out that SHE was a HE!! (gasp!)" So there is a bit of a paradox here, I guess. I'd like to show TS women AS women, but a film about this would necessitate revealing something of their back story. What do you think?

The second problem would be finding guys willing to come forward, I suspect. For much the same reasons. The whole point of the film would be to demonstrate that this is a regular relationship, just like any other, but in order to make that point would I be drawing attention to the perception that there IS something different here?

I have a number of TS friends I can ask about this and, no doubt, I will. But since you must come into contact with a heck of a lot of girls, and guys, who are very directly affected by this, I figured I'd check with you first to see what you think. Any thoughts, comments, advice or warnings!would be very much appreciated.

--Jason.

LOVED THE ARTICLE ON DATING TGIRLS
Subject: Great Reading
Date: 5/19/2006 1:51:30 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I really enjoyed your TS Girlfriend article and have spoke to many TG people. You are right, I am a guy who is more attracted to a post-op then a pre-op, and fell madly in love with one. Thank you, great reading.

--Mark.

SPUN AROUND
Subject: RE: what a TS woman wants.
Date: 5/15/2006 10:41:33 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Wow, you completely spun my head around. Thanks.

--Aaron.

THE TRUTH OF TGIRL DATING
Subject: hi
Date: 5/12/2006 3:37:38 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I just want to tell you that I just read your article and I think it is so clever and so true that it hurts. You have truly captured everything in its entirety,the true essence of the dynamic of TS dating. Thank you so much for saying the truth.

READ THE HISTORY OF THIS TGIRL SITE
Subject: read the history
Date: 5/6/2006 10:37:18 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Deleted
To: TSgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Just read the TSG history and it's great. :-) All of it, even the thing some people complained about.

Keep up the great work, This is a great site. :-)

--Rich in southern Oregon.

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