Dating: Less Than a Woman?
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"I guess I need to apologize to her," the guy said.
"He left saying he would call and apologize," my girlfriend reported.
The two girls talked. Both have had experiences where men have said the same kind of thing, saying they will be right back, and disappeared for a long time. "You run into them an hour and a half later in a different part of the club, and they walk up to you as though they had left five minutes ago, not an hour and a half ago, and they don't see that as a problem. They don't understand what that does to us as a person.
"Quite frankly, going through repeated experiences like that has a very negative impact, it's very deflating to you as a woman. Because we suspect that they don't do that to genetic women.
"It's not just me and the girls I know, it happens to thousands in the transgendered
community. One girl has had guys call her after 18 months with no contact and act for all the world as though he hadn't been absent.
"We think this happens for a couple of reasons," my girlfriend said. "They think we're not real women. On some level they think we're guys and that we will understand. They expect us to understand as if we were guys, like one of their guy friends would. They wouldn't think of this as an issue, they wouldn't think of this as degrading.
"But we are not guys. We don't think like guys, we don't want to be treated like guys. Don't treat us like one of your buddies. A transsexual is not a guy, we are not going to understand like one of his guy friends would. So don't expect us to.
"Expect us to react like a genetic woman would," she said firmly.
"They see us as something less than a real woman, and because of that they react to us differently than they would a genetic woman. In their mind, we're in some kind of in-between world, not quite a woman." And when a TS is perceived as "not quite" a woman, the men treat her as "not quite" a woman.
thing to do," she said, "is stop thinking about us as anything
less than a female. Make the leap and think of us as women. If you can
make that leap, then you will have solved one of the biggest problems
a transsexual faces."
Mail to: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com
I reserve all publication rights on this article, but feel free to forward it to anyone you like. Copyright 2003, all publication rights reserved.
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