Transgender Dating: Less Than a Woman?
(How to Avoid Getting Dropped Like a Hot Rock.)

By- MichaelTSG & Nikki
Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

Transgender dating means the man needs to consciously think about showing respect for the TS. Treating a GG with respect comes more readily than it does with the TS. Where a TS is involved, it gets a bit more problematical due to a man's built-in perceptions. Here is a true story about transgender dating:

My girlfriend Nikki walked into a TS club in Los Angeles recently, with two transgendered friends. Inside, one of the girls met a fellow she had met once before and had talked with online for about a month. Each knew ahead of time the other would be at the club that night. They began talking, then slow-danced, then all three girls and the fellow talked for a half hour.

"I've got to go out and make a quick phone call, I will be right back," the guy said. He walked away.

After a half hour, the girl went looking for him. He had left the club altogether. "He's gone," she said to the others.

"The discussion between us girls turned to what this means," my girlfriend said. "He's leaving her alone in a pick up bar with lots of other men around that could swoop down on her at any moment. They had a little relationship going, a brief one, but there was real interest on the part of both. I mentioned, 'He wouldn't do this to a genetic girl.' Things like this happen all the time to TS's."

The abandoned girl was upset and 45 minutes after he went to "make a quick phone call," she left.

Soon afterwards, the guy returned, looking for the girl. He comes up to the two remaining girls, and says, "I'm back. Hey where's my girl?" His demeanor was as though there were nothing wrong.

"She left," the girls said.

"Why, what happened?" he asked.

"Well, she figured after 45 minutes that you hadn't gone to make a quick phone call, that you had dumped her," my girlfriend told him.

He was very surprised at that, she said. "I'm sorry. But I told you I was coming back."

"Yes, but that was about an hour ago."

"I guess I need to apologize to her," the guy said.

"He left saying he would call and apologize," my girlfriend reported.

The two girls talked. Both have had experiences where men have said the same kind of thing, saying they will be right back, and disappeared for a long time. "You run into them an hour and a half later in a different part of the club, and they walk up to you as though they had left five minutes ago, not an hour and a half ago, and they don't see that as a problem. They don't understand what that does to us as a person.

"Quite frankly, going through repeated experiences like that has a very negative impact, it's very deflating to you as a woman. Because we suspect that they don't do that to genetic women.

"It's not just me and the girls I know, it happens to thousands in the transgendered

community. One girl has had guys call her after 18 months with no contact and act for all the world as though he hadn't been absent.

"We think this happens for a couple of reasons," my girlfriend said. "They think we're not real women. On some level they think we're guys and that we will understand. They expect us to understand as if we were guys, like one of their guy friends would. They wouldn't think of this as an issue, they wouldn't think of this as degrading.

"But we are not guys. We don't think like guys, we don't want to be treated like guys. Don't treat us like one of your buddies. A transsexual is not a guy, we are not going to understand like one of his guy friends would. So don't expect us to.

"Expect us to react like a genetic woman would," she said firmly.

"They see us as something less than a real woman, and because of that they react to us differently than they would a genetic woman. In their mind, we're in some kind of in-between world, not quite a woman." And when a TS is perceived as "not quite" a woman, the men treat her as "not quite" a woman.

"The simplest thing to do," she said, "is stop thinking about us as anything less than a female. Make the leap and think of us as women. If you can make that leap, then you will have solved one of the biggest problems a transsexual faces."

Mail to: Tsgirlfriend4me@aol.com

I reserve all publication rights on this article, but feel free to forward it to anyone you like. Copyright 2003, all publication rights reserved.

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